


A Ghostly Presence

by Splashy



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Angst, F/F, Implied/Referenced Suicide, No Fluff, Post-Canon, save for the first chapter, this is not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-07 00:07:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15206480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splashy/pseuds/Splashy
Summary: It all started when Martha tried to kill herself. Veronica was aware of them, painfully aware of their presence. She could hear them in her head, see them, feel them. Their hands reaching out to her, words whispering praise about how far she’s come. It was all too much.





	1. JD

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic has major themes of suicide and some violence. No surprise because it is Heathers, but the warning is there all the same.
> 
> This is sort of a "one-shot" split into different chapters. At the moment of me writing this, not all are done. They will be added when they are done.

It all started when Martha tried to kill herself. She was aware of them, painfully aware of their presence. She could hear them in her head, see them, feel them. Their hands reaching out to her, words whispering praise about how far she’s come. It was all too much.

Veronica ran toward her house, desperate to get there quickly. She could feel a ball of dread sinking her down, and she knew she had to get there as soon as she possibly could. All the way there, she could feel the presence of Heather, Ram, and Kurt. They were there. When did they get there? Voices around her, telling her about how far she’s come. How she deserves that red scrunchie. How she should join Heather in hell. She closed her eyes briefly, trying to get rid of the voices to no avail. She continued, legs feeling like they’d give out under her.

Finally, she got to her house. As soon as she stepped in, before she could get up to her room, her parents stopped her.

While they spoke - Veronica could hardly hear them. Something about how her mother knows what she’s going through? Right. As if - she could still feel them. Still hear them. She was desperate to get away, knowing JD was coming. Knowing he’d be here any minute. And...after killing Heather, Ram, and Kurt...she had a feeling she would be next. She had to hide before he got here, before…

As soon as she could, she slipped away, running upstairs to her room. She tripped a couple of times, but got back up, continuing in her path.

She could already tell JD was at her window when she ducked into the closet, closing the door shut behind her. She curled up into a ball, eyes shut tight with some tears leaking out, as JD tried to convince her to join him.

She could still feel and hear the ghostly presences. When her eyes flicked to some of her bedsheets in the closet, the ghosts beside her seemed to still and quiet. She closed her eyes again, weighing the pros and cons, before making up her decision.

* * *

Even after Veronica faked her own suicide, the ghosts were still there. They never seemed to lessen. She was always aware of them. As she found herself running toward the school, desperate to stop JD’s schemes, she could see them flicker in and out of her periphery vision. They were following her, and she was powerless to do anything but let them follow.

Even as she ran into the gym, to the boiler room, they were there. Following her. She could hear them whispering, though she had no idea what they were saying. Her fight with JD, her running out with the bomb, JD following her...There was never a silent moment, never a still moment.

So after the bomb blew up, killing JD, and the smoke and noise cleared...Veronica wondered why it was so silent.


	2. Heather McNamara

After the death of JD, the ghosts seemed to stop. They never fully disappeared, though. Rather, they seemed to be at the edge of her vision. Veronica would see movement and turn, only to find nothing there. She knew they were there, but they never bothered her. So she left them alone.

In the years following her high school experience, Veronica ended up with McNamara. Duke had stopped talking to them, and they never made an attempt to talk to her. They all talked to Martha, and sometimes would even have movie nights together. They all went to the same college, one nearby. After the events with JD, she couldn’t bring herself to care enough to go to a fancy school like she used to want to. Now, she just wanted to be near McNamara and Martha.

Veronica started studying to be a lawyer - she always thought of what JD had said - and McNamara got a job after they got into their own apartment. The days were simple. Veronica would go to any classes she had and study whenever she could, while McNamara would work in a jewelry store nearby before coming home. Things were great, and Veronica couldn’t be more content. Who cares if she still saw the ghosts sometimes? They never got too close.

* * *

Heather knew about the ghosts. After they graduated from high school, Veronica told her and Martha. She also knew they hardly ever showed up. Maybe once or twice every two weeks, Veronica would look suddenly to the side. She had seen it enough times, with their years of living together by this point. 

Life was good. She and Veronica had their own apartment, Martha came over regularly, and Veronica was coming along well with her studies. Things couldn’t possibly be better. 

Veronica may be haunted by the ones she killed with JD, but as long as they never showed up too often, it was fine. Right?

…..Right?

\--

It was slow. Veronica turned to the side the second time that week, a frown gracing her lips, before shrugging. Heather watched her, a frown on her face. But if Veronica thought nothing of it, who was she to judge?

Things stayed that way for a week. Slowly, the amount of times Veronica turned to the side increased. She began to become more agitated, and even Heather couldn’t calm her down. By the end of a week, she looked to the side more than once a day. It wasn’t long before her eyes seemed to move around constantly, eyes narrowed. Heather couldn’t tell if it was because she saw one of the ghosts or if she was simply looking for them, before they drifted from her sight.

It continued for another week, seeming to get worse with each passing day. Veronica stopped talking to Heather, stopped sleeping, and would pace their small apartment every day. It all seemed like a warning. A sign.

They didn’t notice until it was too late.

One day, Heather was driving home. Her mind was on Veronica. Before she left for work, Veronica seemed even worse than before. Her eyes were wide, hair a mess, and she seemed to be swatting around her constantly. She wouldn’t even look at Heather, eyes instead flickering around herself. Heather was extremely hesitant to leave her, but she’d already stayed behind too many days to watch her. She couldn’t risk another day off; she had to go to work.

She was so preoccupied with her thoughts, she didn’t notice a car going the wrong way. It came barreling toward her at full force. By the time she realized what was happening, it was too late.

They crashed, and everything went dark.

But before it did, Heather swore she saw a flash of Chandler, a crooked smile on her face and drain cleaner leaking out of her mouth.

* * *

One moment, Veronica was cowering in her room in the corner, eyes closed and tears leaking out. It all felt familiar, too familiar...She could hear the ghosts, feel them…

Until it stopped.

One moment, everything was loud. Whispers in her ear, getting louder as the time went by. And the next, complete, dead silence. All she could hear was a clock ticking nearby. Slowly, she looked up. Nothing. Nobody. No ghosts, nobody whispering...No Heather.

She turned to the clock. She should be home by now...Why wasn’t she? She was about to get up and call her when a noise stopped her.

It was her phone. After picking it up, everything made sense.

Veronica felt her knees give out beneath her.


	3. Martha Dunnstock

After the death of Heather, Veronica feared she would join the others. She often wondered why JD wasn’t one of those that haunted her. If he was...she wasn’t sure she’d be able to handle it. And it seemed the yellow Heather wouldn’t either. 

But a couple years have passed, and it doesn’t seem like she’d joined the trio. Nothing as disastrous as a death had happened since then - she’d only lost her job, the ghosts only showing up the day beforehand. It seemed like the sooner they showed up, the greater..whatever to happen was. 

She hoped she never saw the ghosts again, but of course that would be too good to be true.

* * *

Another year passed. Veronica had started living with Martha after she lost her job. Martha managed to make enough for the two of them, and Veronica often stayed at home. Brief flickers of the ghosts still appeared, but she was able to ignore them. That had always been there. It wasn’t anything new. It was easy enough to ignore.

Things were fine for another year. Sometimes, she’d go out for a walk. Eventually, she was able to get a job at a nearby coffee shop. She’d work there whenever she could. She saw the flickers less and less out here. 

One day, while laughing about something with a coworker, someone walked in that caught her eye. He was tall, with long hair that fell into his eyes. He walked up to her, and suddenly they were flirting. He was funny and witty, and she was smitten. It was only a few weeks later that they started dating. And things were going great. It finally felt like she’d gotten everything in her life settled and taken care of. She could start this new life with her boyfriend. With Ryan. He didn’t have to know about the ghosts. Or JD. Or even Heather McNamara. It was a clean slate.

It wasn’t long before she was moving in with Ryan. Martha was sad to see her go, but she promised to visit often. Things continued to be fine for a while. For at least a few months, Veronica found the time to visit Martha. But as the days passed, she visited less and less often. 

Faintly, perhaps she was aware of the ghosts. They were becoming more active. Reaching out to her.

But she ignored them.

It hadn’t exactly been a conscious decision, but she did it all the same. And it caused the ghosts to become restless. They seemed to beg her to notice them, to notice something was going on. But she had gotten too wrapped up in her life with Ryan. He’d finally proposed, and she was going to get married! It was all she ever wanted. She wasn’t going to let some pesky ghosts ruin that for her. Nothing bad had happened in a while, so who was to say something would now?

Perhaps she should have listened.

* * *

Veronica signed the last wedding invitation, quickly putting it in an envelope. She stretched, feeling intense relief almost immediately. She had been sitting in the position for far too long. Now, all she had to do was deliver these.

The process took some time, and it wasn’t long until they were all delivered. Some were sent to some friends and family of Ryan’s, some to her family and friends. Martha included. Hell, she even sent one to Heather Duke! They hadn’t talked in so long, but it surely couldn’t hurt to send her one. She probably wouldn’t come anyway.

For the next few weeks, she got people RSVPing. Family and friends were coming. She couldn’t help but get more and more excited. Her excitement seemed to agitate the ghosts, but she ignored them some more. Nothing would ruin her good mood.

Some more time passed, and Heather responded. With a wonderfully eloquent reply (“Why the fuck are you even inviting me to this?”), she agreed to come. Now all that’s left to wait for was...Martha.

As she came to that realization, she also became aware of the ghosts. With an accusing and admittedly fearful gaze, she eyed them. They stared back at her. Blank, vacant expressions. Eternally bleeding bullet holes from Ram and Kurt, and the ever present drain cleaner leaking out of Heather’s mouth. 

“What?” she challenged, eyes narrowed. There was no reply. They didn’t move. “You continue to haunt me. Why? Why are you _doing_ this?” Nothing. Absolutely nothing. “Is Martha dead? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?” Still nothing. Veronica nearly growled out of frustration. “Fine! If you won’t tell me, I’ll figure it out myself.”

She stormed out of the house, only to be greeted with Ryan. She stared at him in shock before her eyes seemed to darken and she shoved past him.

“Whoa, Ronnie. What’s going on?”

The use of her nickname - the same one Heather (both Chandler and McNamara) used - made her stiffen. “Nothing. Nothing important.” She continued to her car, quickly climbing in and driving to Martha’s house while Ryan watched from the door.

* * *

The driver to her house wasn’t long. Veronica still had it memorized like it was the back of her hand. She was aware of the ghosts also in the car, but she ignored them. Now was not the time.

As soon as she got there, she opened the door and practically ran to the door, knocking on it. She didn’t have to wait long before it opened, revealing her best friend since diapers. As soon as she realized who was at the door, however, she let out a squeak and tried to close the door. Veronica didn’t let her.

“Martha, hey. Wait.” Her foot in the door, she rested a hand on Martha’s shoulder.

“Veronica. Long time no see.” Martha was never one to hold a grudge, but it seemed even she couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice.

“Oh. Yeah…” Veronica looked down briefly before looking back up. “Listen, why didn’t you RSVP to my wedding…?”

At least Martha seemed to look guilty at that. “I guess I just got...busy.” 

“...Busy.”

At that, Martha seemed to become more bold. “Yes. Busy. Just like how I assume _you_ got busy. How long has it been since you last visited?” Her voice grew quieter on the last sentence.

“I’m...sorry, Martha. I guess I got carried away with Ryan and...whatnot. But will you come to the wedding? I promise I’ll visit more!” She looked hopeful, desperate to fix what she had broken. The ghosts were wrong, this wasn’t anything bad. She just had to fix this.

But at the look on Martha’s face, that hope crumbled. She shook her head. “After you get married, you’ll just get more busy. You won’t have time for me. Again.” Veronica’s distress seemed to appear on her face. Martha gave a small smile that seemed forced. “Do you...do you still see the ghosts?”

Veronica looked behind her. Sure enough, the ghosts were on the driveway staring at her. She felt a shiver creep down her spine and looked back at Martha. “Yeah. They only started showing up recently. When you didn’t RSVP...I feared you had died.” She looked down at her feet.

“Nope. Not dead.” A pause. “Does Ryan know you’re out here?”

“Oh, shit! I just shoved right past him on my way here...I have to…” She stopped, looking at Martha. That small smile was still there.

“Go on. Go. I understand.” Martha urged her to go.

“I’m gonna miss you, y’know?”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll miss you too.”

Veronica walked away, back to her car, not daring to look back at Martha. Not daring to think about the friendship she had just lost, one that had lasted years and years and years before she made a careless mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more to go! decided to make it shorter bc i'm impatient. can't wait for the last chapter. might post it tomorrow? hopefully,,


	4. Veronica Sawyer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for suicide

Years passed. She and Ryan got married, and eventually had a daughter that Veronica insisted they named Heather. In these years, Veronica went to therapy, finally telling someone about all the things she did in her senior year with JD, and about the ghosts. After the first few sessions, just talking about them made the ghosts disappear. She hadn’t seen them in years, and it felt great to finally be rid of them.

Things were good.

* * *

Veronica was playing around with Heather - the girl was now 5 years old - when movement in her periphery vision made her stop and pause. Turning, she saw nothing there. Shrugging, she looked back to Heather, thinking nothing of it.

\--

A couple of months passed, and the family was at a picnic. It was a warm summer day, not too hot. Veronica and Ryan were sitting side by side, watching as Heather ran around. A smile graced both their lips.

Veronica was about to turn and say something to Ryan when something caught her eye. She looked closer, and almost gasped out loud, eyes wide and shoulders immediately tensing. It lasted just a second, but she could _swear_ she saw Heather Chandler in that moment, watching her daughter.

“Veronica?” Ryan had noticed her, and now looked over, concern etched in his face.

“O-oh! Nothing, nothing. Just thought I saw something.” She was quick to wave his concerns aside. She still had never told him about the ghosts, even after she came back from Martha’s before they got married. She’d always been vague about what had happened that day. 

Her hope was that if she never told them about the ghosts, they’d just disappear. She refused to think about how going to a therapist and telling them was what had really caused them to disappear. 

“If you say so…” Ryan wasn’t quick to believe it, but at least he dropped it. Veronica inwardly thanked him for that; she didn’t want to have to explain the ghosts now. That part of her life was behind her.

\--

Some more time passed. The instances where she saw the ghosts - now both Ram and Kurt, too. Not just Heather - increased. It was almost like how it used to be. At least once a week, she’d see them. Sometimes more. As more time passed, she saw them more and more. Still, she ignored them. Ignored them, and ignored what might happen if she continued to ignore them. Her life was perfect. These damn ghosts wouldn’t change that.

She’d just make sure to not let Ryan or Heather out of her sight. If she stuck with them, if she always drove, nothing bad would happen. Everything would be fine.

\--

One night, Veronica was awoken by a low, mournful sound. Barely suppressing a groan of annoyance, she looked around. Not this again. She’d been woken up in the middle of the night at least 5 times this week by a low groan. The first couple of times, she had been terrified something had happened to Ryan or Heather. But no. It was just the ghosts acting up again.

She turned to her side and ignored it, trying to go back to sleep as more mournful cries could be heard.

\--

Another month. And another. The mournful cries and whispers hadn’t stopped. Now, there were hands reaching out towards her. Never quite touching, but close. All in all, it was starting to have an effect on her. They just wouldn’t go away! Everything was fine. She and her family were healthy. Their jobs were stable, Heather was doing just wonderful. What could the ghosts be warning her about? Everything was perfect.

\--

One day, Ryan couldn’t take it anymore. Veronica was becoming jumpy, constantly looking to the side as if someone was there. She often woke up in the middle of the night, agitated, only to let out a sigh and turn over to continue sleeping. He had let this go on without saying anything for long enough. 

The two were getting ready for bed when he decided it was time to say something after Veronica had stared in the same direction for a few minutes, shoulders getting tenser by the second.

“Hey, Ronnie?”

“Huh?” She snapped out of whatever trance she was in, looking toward him. Her eyes flicked quickly to where she had been looking back to him, fast enough he wasn’t sure if it had actually happened. 

“What’s up?” A relatively direct approach might be best. Anything he had tried to mention it in the past, she’d gone silent and closed herself off. He wouldn’t let that happen this time.

“What do you mean?” She looked genuinely confused and it made him frown.

“Why do you keep looking to the side?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Veronica froze, her mouth hanging.

“N-no reason! What are you talking about? I’m not looking to the side.” She was quick to defend herself. Too quick, and too vehemently.

“Veronica..,” he murmured softly, coming up to her and trying to wrap his arms around her. But she tensed and stepped away.

“Nothing is wrong. I’m fine. I’m not looking to the side,” she whispered quietly, arms wrapped around herself and gaze on the floor. After a moment, she looked back up at him. But he couldn’t help but notice she was looking over his shoulder, at something that may or may not be behind him. “Everything is fine.”

He didn’t press it any further.

\--

Veronica lay awake. The mournful cries and moans had kept her up for the third time in a row. She hadn’t slept. She was so, so tired...But no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t get a wink of sleep. It had been years. A couple of years since the ghosts had popped up after years of silence. How much longer was she to take this? Nothing had happened yet. 

She’s had enough of this. She can’t take it any longer. She couldn’t stand a single day of this.

Quietly, she got out of bed. Keeping an eye on Ryan, she changed into something other than her pajamas. An outfit similar to the one she used to wear when she was a part of the Heathers, before Chandler had died. A dark blue blazer. A skirt. 

All the while, the ghosts watch her, silent and unmoving for once. Their stare unnerved her, but she ignored it.

She hesitates as she passes her desk. Another glance to Ryan, and she pauses long enough to take out a pen and a piece of paper, scribbling out a quick message before leaving it there. She moves on.

Stepping out into the night air, she takes a deep breath. She’s aware of the ghosts watching her. Ignores them.

Her feet move as if they have a mind of their own. She hardly knows where she’s going until it’s almost too late.

A bridge, overlooking a fast moving body of water. She goes up to the edge, a hand on the railing. Fast, cold, relentless water below her. She watches it, trying to decide if she really wants to do this.

She stays there for some time. Looking out. Dawn is just beginning to peak out from behind the water. It highlights the ripples, and she feels a small smile come to her face. At least she’s got a good view.

She can feel the ghosts watching, waiting. At the edge of her vision. One is behind her, and she swears she can feel hands on her back, the slightest bit of pressure. Pushing her.

A deep breath.

She lets go.


End file.
